Something wicked this way comes?

By Tim Wayne  

I was late getting up for work this morning. I didn't have time to make breakfast so I ate the leftover Chinese takeout from last night.  There was a fortune cookie. I shrugged, said to myself why not?  and ate the cookie. The fortune said Remember: every day begins in darkness. Do not overvalue the light.

I went downstairs, out my door and walked the twenty feet to Haight Street.  It was that weird time in the morning where the sun is out but hasn't quite yet burned through the SF fog, so it's still sort of an in-between, misty, twilight-like light and color, the same eerie lighting you see during an eclipse.  It was street-sweeping day so no cars were parked on Haight Street.  There was very little foot traffic in either direction, and no cars driving for many blocks. Silent. Weird lighting. No people. No cars. (where the hell is Rod Serling hiding?)

Seeing how late it was, I flagged down a taxi way down by Masonic (who, because the street was so empty, could clearly see me four blocks down Haight).  The driver was an interesting hippie who drove while talking animatedly, dropping Pink Floyd references and swearing frequently.  (I always feel awkward talking to Taxi drivers—the conversation is like the kind you have at your drug dealer's house: it's a necessary social obligation and can be quite pleasant but you ain't there for the fucking conversation).  Aaaanyways, driving in the Taxi, downtown in the shit part of Nob Hill by the police station where all the crack heads and hobos dwell, the taxi slowly turns around a corner when BLAM!  a pigeon SLAMS into the window RIGHT NEXT TO MY FACE.  Not the windshield, not the front window, not the other side window, not the drivers window and not the rear window, but MY window and RIGHT WHERE MY FACE WAS.  And this pigeon hit the window so hard I would be surprised if it lived.   The taxi driver said in all his years of driving he's never seen that even once.

Work has been OK so far today, no surprises, <knock knock knock on my desk>.  Even so, since the world has gone all queer on me, I just walked over to the convenience store in Rincon Center and bought a Quick Pix lotto ticket.

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3 Comments

  1. Posted July 26, 2006 at 5:27 pm | Permalink

    Ugh. Those sky rats [love how you named them so]!

    A similar thing happened to me except that I was on the Caltrain and it happened right at my stop. So, the door opens and there's a trail of blood leading to the retarded, dead sky rat who flew right into the train.

  2. -
    Posted July 27, 2006 at 12:22 am | Permalink

    Kamikaze pigeon…

  3. Posted July 27, 2006 at 7:14 am | Permalink

    Kamikaze sky-rat