It also seems to me that Pat and Tim have done just that. They created their piece with their words, whether you liked what they said or not. They created something and put it out into the world. Kudos you guys.

And to the “Burners” that have ranted against Pat and Tim because of their art piece I can only say, you are the ones that didn’t get “it” or the whole point of BM, and…
well…
Heil Hippie.

I’ve been to BM a few times and have to say I’ve had some good times and I’ve had some really bad times. It isn’t at all uncommon for people to simply not have a good time there, and I wouldn’t say it isn’t because they don’t ‘get it’ but it just isn’t their thing. Myself, I can’t stand pre-planned holidays with tour guides and what not, while most people would. I have to admit, as a Systems Administrator, one of the big attractions to me is quite frankly being in a place where no one can possibly page me or call me. For a lot of people being taken out of that structured world for a while is really nice, but I don’t necessarily want everything done for me. But I can totally see the logic in thinking “I’m on holiday, I paid good money, I want clean towels and good food served to me.” Unlike some of the cults you talked about, I think most burners would have at least warned you about a lot of the stuff that troubled you and warned you its definitely an acquired taste. Yes, its really bloody hot, no, don’t expect a concierge to have a bellboy come fetch your things … and mostly that its very very participatory. Just if you were the only person not nude at a nudist camp or the only one not golfing at the golf club, you are gonna be bored out of your mind if you don’t want to participate in any way and expect to sit back and be entertained because you paid money. It just doesn’t work like that.

I think its great that you wrote this cause it way better for people to figure out that BM isn’t their thing before they’ve trekked all the way out there and it not be what they expected because all they’ve heard is ‘OMG it’s life changing amazing” a zillion times but never heard (or don’t pay attention to) “did I mention Playa dust gets in your everything and everyone out there is a FREAK!”. One thing I would have advised you ahead of time, and for everyone going the first time is to NOT try to go the whole week but rather come out on Thursday or Friday. If you can, try to join up with people who have gone before so they can advise you about some of the things that will make life REALLY miserable. Then you can find out if its something you like or not and if you want to come back for a full week next time.

That said, I do think you went overboard with a lot of the personal attacks on people. The checkin process seemed chaotic to you. Fair enough, valid observation. Some of the other stuff, like the ball torture … well I know you were joking (hopefully) but ya know… we’ve all had a worse time with airport checkin… but you know what I mean here.

well written and deservedly acerbic. I only went twice for the past 2 years and can not but agree with your comments regarding the whiteness of the event, fashion fascists and a somewhat fleeting and unfortunately shallow way how most social encounters can go.

Your comments about it being run by thugs are appropriate as I volunteered to man the radar which the organizers use to direct their punk chase vehicles to catch unfortunate hippies trying to sneak in through the desert. After an intercept the kiddie would be taunted and restrained followed by being forced to lie on the cold desert. Mind you this was NOT the police but what I call the Burningman militia force that protects the Bm revenue i.e. ticket sales. Most of the unsurprisingly were white males in their 30s. The BLM police was their big buddies and it was scary how friendly the thugs are with the police. Internally Burningman is run like a paramilitary high-tech bootcamp with radio stations, radar and a rigid command structure enforced by some seriously scary drunk and high punks. It was unfortunate how reminiscent it was of outside America or of where America might be heading.

Furthermore the depravities of excessive wealth are simply stunning e.g. rich google fucks had a cache of champagnes flown in by a helicopter on my shift. So hooray, let’s drink cooled champagne while Doctors without Borders collects money to support a cold chain to vaccinate against polio in Africa. Such contrasts.

Keep on writing, patrick.

Reply from Patrick:

That said, I’ll admit that I was never comfortable with blaming red staters for the travesty that is Burning Man, so I retract that allegation. I WILL blame them for putting a dick like George W. in office who has probably done more damage to our country then any American president—starting a trillion dollar war based on lies, recording all our phone calls and e-mails, ignoring the Constitution and legalizing torture. All this, and almost 50% of red staters still support this buffoon. I do blame you red state dickheads for electing a reckless fratboy C- student to the most powerful job in the world, just because he pretended to support your goal to impose some Christian version of sharia law on the rest of us. How did you cousin-fucking idiots think Bush could do a better job than McCain as president?

This whole thing was made up Hunter Thompson style, cobbled from other’s old saws.

Tim replies:

Put down the crack pipe and step away from the keyboard. Hippie.

To address all of the comments suggesting to camp with others and pool your resources and so on for a better experience, DON’T BUY IT! We camped with incredible people, one of which was the Fire Chief of Black Rock City. They made us hot meals and escorted us around the playa in a pathfinder. We still wouldn’t go again unless someone held a gun to our heads.

You ARE a genius, Tim.

After hearing, “You HAVE to go to Burning Man,” for so many years from anyone who’s ever gone, I was beginning to think that I was crazy for feeling like I just escaped hell after driving home from Black Rock City yesterday.

The only fun I had the whole week was laughing at the insanely ridiculous bizzaro land circumstances of the event with my friend, April, to kill the pain.

Oh, and I am also not a “prude.” I grew up in Arcata (Humboldt), am a hippie at heart, and a graphic designer/artist, who likes to party and goes to Reggae on the River every year. I thought Burning Man was meant for people like me. You’re right…it’s meant for bikers and bullies. We should have known when the first people we saw at the front gate made us turn to each other and say in unison, “Holy shit. Deliverance.” (That’s a reference to the film for those of you who don’t know.)

You wrote a perfect account of Burning Man, and hit on every freaky aspect that we observed and discussed during our trip home. I only wish I found your review earlier. Thank you for confirming our sanity.

Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++